Hurrication

With another tropical disturbance barreling towards the Gulf of Mexico this past weekend, we packed up and headed out… to the beach. That probably seems like a strange choice, but we had the vacation planned and to be fair, at the time of the decision all the projections for the storm were aimed at the heart of New Orleans. So Thursday night we all crammed into the minivan, handed out the kids’ amazon fires (our DVD player has been rendered useless due to the countless coins shoved into the slot), and took off towards the panhandle of sunny Florida. Destination: condo in Navarre. Friday was fun. Though the ocean was too rough to enter, we still managed to squeeze in a relaxing day of playing in the sand and swimming in the pool. Anxiety levels grew that evening, however, as the projected path of Hurricane Nate crept eastward towards Mobile Bay and Pensacola.

Saturday morning we faced an uncomfortable decision. Though it looked like we would be okay in Navarre, any drastic last minute shift in the storm could put us in a bind. Rather than take the risk of losing power with three toddlers, we decided to buy cheap insurance in the form of a hotel room a little further east in Panama City – just in case. Thus commenced a weird day of watching the kids swim in freezing pool in the rain (while dealing with a pesky virus) that ultimately culminated in the five of us crammed into one bed with my son waking up and puking on my wife in the middle of the night while wind and rain pelted the window. It was a strange vacation.

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Sunday morning we headed back to Navarre – a pit stop on the way back towards New Orleans. Nate was travelling so fast that the eye of the storm was already far to our north, though remnants of high gusts and heavy rain remained on the backside (the storm’s hiney we deliriously told Sawyer, giggling in sleep deprivation). We arrived just before noon.

The sight on the beach was breathtaking – ferocious waves pounding the pier, ocean rabidly foaming at the mouth. It was picturesque scene of the unbridled power of nature. It probably wasn’t too far off from a stormy situation that Jesus’s disciples faced crossing the Sea of Galilee:

Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked. “Even the winds and waves obey him!” (Matthew 8:23-27 NLT)

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By Rembrandt - www.gardnermuseum.org : Home : Info : Pic, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6812612

“Anglican clergyman John Clowes commented that by asking the question ‘Why are you so afraid?’, Jesus was asking his disciples to explore in their own minds the cause and origin of fear, so they would realize that all fear has its roots in natural affection and thought, separate from spiritual affection and thought.”[1]

Fear is not of God:

youversion

Let’s break that down a little further.

Power

As if the power a storm wields isn’t hard enough to comprehend, imagine the power required to STOP one in its tracks. Oh, and that raging ocean? God can fit it in the palm of his hand:

“Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?” (Isaiah 40:12 NLT)

Love.

No love is greater than that which is purely unconditional.

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8 NLT)

Enough said.

Self discipline.

In relation to the wonderful mystery of the incarnation in which he is both fully God and fully man, Jesus faced very real temptations – and emerged the vanquishing victor.

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15 NLT)

God is powerful. God is love. God is without blemish. And if we abide in Christ, God will work those qualities through us.

- Nicolas C. Day

On a side note - I cannot wait for this hurricane season to come to an end.

[1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calming_the_storm#cite_note-8

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Refrigerator Art

“Dad, wook come see what I made!” My son’s face lit up with enthusiasm as his little hand pulled me towards the refrigerator. “Show me!” I replied, his excitement transferring instantaneously in a bold denial of the laws of physics.

“Wook!” He turned to me, grinning from ear-to-ear, tiny finger outstretched towards the scribbled mess suspended by a magnet.

“Wow! It’s amazing!” I said, turning towards him as he beamed with pride. I looked back at the piece of paper. It looked as though a game of connect the dots had gone horribly, horribly wrong. “…What is it?”

“It’s a (fill in the blank)!”

Now, I consider myself a pretty abstract thinker. Whenever my toddlers decide to show off their art to me, however, I’m usually hard-pressed to identify even a slight resemblance to whatever they confidently claim to have drawn. Nevertheless, their masterpiece commands an undeniable, rightful place on the fridge that I wouldn’t trade for a Picasso.

…why?

It’s not for the quality of their drawings – although I fail to see the distinction between their work and some of the stuff hung up in museums:

square

 By Kazimir Malevich - (Transferred from en.wikipedia - was: en:Image:Black Square.jpg), Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=507949

It’s a square... a square. What am I missing???

Anyway, my point here is that the picture itself is irrelevant. It’s my children’s’ inner intentions in which my heart delights.

I wonder, how much is this adoration a replicated quality of the Father in whose image we are created?

Perhaps we need look no further than “the man after God’s own heart” – King David.

At face value, David does not fit the image of piety. His dirty laundry list is abhorrent. Adulterer, murderer, family in shambles, host of concubines…all things we would not or should not want to replicate. Yet, despite his shortcomings, David possessed a deep longing to be in God’s presence; to be apart from it was tantamount to torment.

“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight…

…Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.” (Psalm 51:1-4;10-12 NLT)

David fell hard. He repented harder.

Now I’m not saying what we do with our lives is irrelevant. David paid deeply for his sins. David’s son born to Bathsheba died. His son, Absalom, rebelled against him and slept with his concubines.[1]Nevertheless, it was his heart – not his sins – that defined him.

In the words of Thomas Merton, "the fact that I think I am following your will, does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you, does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing."[2]

I am well pleased just to see that desire in my children, regardless of what they bring me. In the same way, I’m convinced that God would rather we draw a stick figure and bring the scribbled mess to Him, then paint the Sistine Chapel by ourselves.

And you know what? I'm actually impressed by the scattered streaks generated by my children's toddler minds. Who knows? Maybe one of my kids will be the next Picasso after all!

- Nicolas C. Day

[1] 2 Samuel 12

[2]http://reflections.yale.edu/article/seize-day-vocation-calling-work/merton-prayer

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"Tweeting" About Marriage

We’ve got cardinals all over our backyard (the little red birds, not Catholic senior ecclesiastical leaders). While watching one of these little birds fly back and forth to the same spot in our yard, we discovered a nest wedged in between the branches of one of our hedges. Grabbing a step ladder (a short man’s favorite tool), I clambered up the steps to peer inside. Within the layers of pine straw were three quivering, little baby birds with (comparatively) large mouths hanging open. They might as well have had FRAGILE stamped across their tiny bird heads.

I lifted up each of my excited children to show them the baby birds. This soon degenerated into a screaming match of “My turn! My turn!” until we imposed a break for the mother cardinal – who was hovering around nearby, looking a little distressed.

The distractions of life sank in and we did not return to check on the baby birds until a few days later… only to find that they were gone.

As I looked up from my perch on the step ladder, my wife instantly recognized the look on my face: “I don’t want to know.” She said, turning her head. Immediately changing her mind, she looked back up at me and asked “Are they gone?”

I shook my head yes. Despite us both immediately jumping to the conclusion that they were devoured by a cat, I decided to look up when cardinals leave their nest upon a sliver of hope. The answer astonished me – just 10 days! I couldn’t believe those frail little birds could turn into something even remotely close to leaving the nest in that timeframe. In my research I also stumbled across another neat fact: cardinals mate for life.

“Pairs mate for life, and stay together year-round. Mated pairs sometimes sing together before nesting. During courtship they may also participate in a bonding behavior where the male collects food and brings it to the female, feeding her beak-to-beak. If the mating is successful, this mate-feeding may continue throughout the period of incubation.”[1]

Guys – when’s the last time you sang with your wife and fed her mouth to mouth? Clearly I’m slacking.

The little cardinal fellas help out their ladies in a couple of other areas too:

“Males sometimes bring nest material to the female, who does most of the building” and while “female generally incubates the eggs, though, rarely, the male will incubate for brief periods of time.”

Reading about the cardinals working to help each other out in this way brought Scripture to my mind – specifically God’s declaration over Adam in the Garden of Eden.

In Genesis 2:18, God looks at his creation and declares (in the KJV), “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Eh? Come again? A help meet? Must be that weird old English language.

In Hebrew the words are:  ‘ê·zer kə·neḡ·dōw [עֵ֖זֶר כְּנֶגְדּֽוֹ׃ [2

Ezer – meaning “help.”[3]

Kenegdow – stemming from root neged (נֶ֫גֶד), meaning “in front of, in sight of, opposite to.”[4]

When I look at this combination of “opposite” and “help,” it helps me understand the NLT position: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’”(emphasis added).

My wife is a divinely given compliment to my incompleteness. Wow. I’d like to say that I always hold that reverence for marriage but some days it just seems like my wife and I are speaking two completely different languages.

For instance, she told me the other day, "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen." I couldn’t understand why she was so mad when I came home with 12 loaves of bread.

Okay, so that was just a joke I found on the internet, but it definitely has a ring of truth about it. The question is, why? Why did God design us to be "half-finished" with such inherent differences?

I think Gary Thomas hits the nail on the head when he posed the question, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”[5] Not that marriage isn't a terrific source of happiness - it is! But there is something much more significant that comprises the driving force.

I have found that by seeking to bridge communication boundaries and striving to meet one another’s needs, we have grown in ways we simply could not have done without the incredible gift of marriage. There is also no denying that my wife has been uniquely positioned in my life to bring out the most in me, Her strengths fill in the gaps created by weaknesses, and I like to think my strengths do likewise for her.

Corny joke alert: Thank you, cardinals, for “tweeting” that reminder of the treasures stored within a biblical marriage!

- Nicolas C. Day

Note: Out of curiosity, I thought I’d look up the worst example of a biblical marriage in the animal kingdom. It would be hard to top the praying mantis, considering the female bites off the male’s head during reproduction.[6]

[1] Northern cardinal. (2017, July 4). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 16:36, August 14, 2017

[2]http://biblehub.com/interlinear/genesis/2-18.htm

[3]http://biblehub.com/hebrew/5828.htm

[4]http://biblehub.com/hebrew/5048.htm

[5]https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/31970.Gary_L_Thomas

[6]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantis

If you would like to take a closer look at the Gary Thomas book referenced in this article, you can do so by clicking on the affiliate link in the picture below. Should you choose to make a purchase, a small commission will go towards supporting the efforts of this blog. There are several other products and resources that I have found helpful in navigating the waters as a Christian and a parent. You can check these out on the Fervent Recommendations page. 

The Fervent Dad Challenge

The Fervent Dad Challenge

A daily workout for the body, mind, heart, and spirit for Christian fathers of toddlers.

Although I have never done CrossFit, sometimes I feel that just being a father to toddlers is close enough.

dadfit

As you naturally find yourself carrying them from place to place, it becomes quite evident that toddlers have the potential to be a fantastic workout tool. Plus, each day that you feed them, they grow a little bit bigger and weigh a little bit more.

In truth, however, parenting toddlers trains us in ways that supersede our physical bodies alone. This fact (and the helpful suggestions of a tremendous brother in Christ in bible study) became my inspiration behind the development of "The Fervent Dad Challenge".

As you go through the week, not only will you hit every major muscle group, but you will get a chance to connect with your kids and promote biblical growth towards other important components of your overall health.

Note that there are two main rules that require strict adherence:

1. Don’t take this too seriously.

2. Have fun!

Though I tailored this challenge towards my own experience as a dad, there is nothing stopping moms from participating. Should you choose to accept "The Fervent Dad Challenge", I’d love to hear about the results. Please share your stories!

Caution: Do not perform any exercise in a speed or manner that puts your child at risk of injury. If you are not comfortable, STOP. I'm contemplating releasing a more detailed guide with additional physical exercises in a future ebook (because why not?).

Monday

Body: Toddler Floor Press. Lay flat on your back on the floor with knees bent so that both feet are planted on the ground. Hold toddler at arm’s length with them facing you. Lower your toddler and kiss them on the head. Squeeze abs and push back up to starting position. Repeat for max reps and sets.

Primary Muscle: Chest

Secondary Muscle(s): Shoulders, Triceps

Mind: Geography. Show your kid(s) a new country on a map. Pull up an image on a tablet/smart phone that shows the landscape.

Heart: High fives. Give your kid(s) 10 high fives. Pretend each one is progressively making your hand hurt worse. Comment on how strong they are.

Spirit: Worship. Teach your toddler a line from your favorite worship song. Sing it together.

Tuesday

Body: Toddler Bent Over Row. With knees slightly bent, keep your back straight and bend over until it is almost parallel with the floor. Grab your toddler (perpendicular to you, facing the ground). Pull toddler to your stomach. Return the toddler towards the ground. When their feet and/or hands graze the ground loudly say “Boing!” and pull them back up again towards your stomach. Repeat for max reps and sets.

Primary Muscle: Back

Secondary Muscle(s): Biceps

Mind: Math. Layout toys in the room and count them together.

Heart: Tickles. Give your kid(s) 10 tickles. Allow them to tickle you back. Laugh hysterically.

Spirit: Prayer for the hurting. Pray with your kid(s) for someone specific that is sick or has a need.

Wednesday

Body: Toddler Squat. Either hug toddler or hold at arm’s length (more difficult – simultaneously works arms). Squat down as low as possible. Return to starting position. Keep a deadpan face and say “ribbit”. Repeat for max reps and sets.

Primary Muscle: Quadriceps

Secondary Muscle(s): Calves

Mind: Science. Show them a picture of a weird animal or an image from space (galaxies, stars, planet, etc.). Go for something interesting and tell them that God made it.

Heart: Funny faces. At the count of 3, everyone is to make the funniest face they can muster.

Spirit: Old Testament. Share an old testament story with your children.

Thursday

Body: Toddler Shoulder Press. Grip toddler under arms. Squeezing abs and keeping back straight, push toddler straight up over your head. Lower toddler and blow a raspberry on their belly. Push back up again. Repeat for max reps and sets.

Primary Muscle: Shoulders

Secondary Muscle(s): Triceps

Mind: English. Pick a word and spell it out loud together.

Heart: Funny faces. At the count of 3, everyone is to make the funniest face they can muster. Do this at least three times.

Spirit: New Testament. Share a new testament story with your children.

Friday

Body: Toddler Swing. Get into squat position with feet shoulder width apart. Grab toddler under arms. Squat up and swing toddler forwards, exploding the hips and making a sound like a rocket blast. (Optional: toss the toddler a short distance in the air and catch). Swing toddler back down to starting position.

Primary Muscle: Hamstrings

Secondary Muscle(s): Low Back, Deltoids

Mind:Art. Draw a picture together. Hang it up on the fridge for a week.

Heart: Animal Impersonations. Pick an animal and have everyone pretend to be one. Do this with at least five different animals.

Spirit: Thanking God. Let everyone pick out three things that they are thankful for. Pray and thank God together.

Saturday

Body: Toddler Wagon Pull (or Car Push). Load your toddler(s) and any additional weight desired into a wagon. With one arm, pull the wagon for a sizeable distance. Make race car noises as you do this. Switch arms and repeat. To increase difficulty, perform on grass or sand (hardest). Alternatively, if you do not have a wagon, buy one immediately – they are one of the most useful tools in the world for parents of toddlers. In the meantime, load your kid(s) into any toy vehicles they have and push them at a sprint instead.

Mind: History. Lookup a historical fact to share with your kids. Loads of options here. Do a web search for “on this day in history” if you have no ideas.

Heart: Hugs. Hug kid(s) for at least ten seconds and tell them how great they are.

Spirit: Love of Jesus. Tell your kids five things that Jesus love them more than (i.e. ice cream, toys, etc.).

Sunday

Rest and reflect on the amazing week you had with your kids! Ask them which activity was their favorite. Repeat challenge as desired!

"Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!..." Psalm 127:4-5 NLT

- Nicolas C. Day

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Parental Quiz: Would Jesus Say That?

My wife and I recently conducted a rather convicting parenting exercise. We collected a list of some of the phrases we say to our children and attempted to picture Jesus speaking those same words to us. We quickly realized that some of the words spewing out of our mouths would never be found on the lips of our Lord and Savior. Here's some of our highlights/lowlights (let me know if you can relate to any of these):“I don’t respond to whining.” (Often accompanied by “ask like a man” when talking to my son).

I can just see Him now, throwing His hand up in my face as I cry out in desperate need, “Stop whining, and speak like a man, Nick.” Yikes. While we are to “do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Philippians 2:14 NIV), God does invite us to lay our worries before Him. In fact, He wants you to bring your concerns to Him. “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7 NIV.

Note the distinction here between grumbling and anxiety. In 1 Corinthians 10:10, Paul refers to the grumbling of the Israelites in the desert using the Greek word “gogguzó” – meaning “murmur, grumble (generally of smoldering discontent).”[1] Contrast this with the Greek word “merimna” in 1 Peter 5:7 – meaning “care, worry, anxiety.”[2] Consider also the many lamenting Psalms that beseech God with their complaints in an appropriate manner of prayer.[3] For further reading on “complaining to God” check out this article: http://matthewsleonard.com/is-it-okay-to-complain-to-god/.

“You’re a big boy/girl, do it yourself.”

Imagine God saying, “Why do you need My help? You’re a big Christian now, do it yourself.” I think some people may have the false perception that God does take that stance due to the often misquoted “God helps those who help themselves.” Not only is that not in the bible, but also it is contradictory to what Scripture teaches. Jesus wants us to depend on Him – not do things by ourselves. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5 NIV.

Just as my toddlers are in a constant state of need, so am I utterly dependent on my Father’s help. Whereas I consider my necessities more complex then needing a diaper change and/or finding a lost toy/sippy cup/pacifier in the middle of the night, my children probably share a similar sensation of being completely overwhelmed and helpless to address their problems. Thankfully, God promises to be there to help us through the hard times – even if it doesn’t look quite like what we expected. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” - Isaiah 41:10 NIV.

“Daddy needs some space.”

This is a polite way of telling my kids to leave me the heck alone. This statement typically emerges when my three year old asks “why” for the millionth time that day – or when I am lying down on the ground in exhaustion with my three kids literally jumping up and down on my head. God, however, doesn’t need “space”. He doesn’t ask for a “Daddy break”. Instead, Jesus is constantly beckoning us towards a closer relationship with him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 NIV.

Pretty sure if Jesus said some of the things I say to my children to me it would crush me into a tiny little heap on the ground. But that’s not usually the first thing that runs through your mind when you’re a sleep deprived parent with a three year old, a two year old, and a one year old clinging to your legs while screaming/whining/persistently asking random questions/all the above.

The fact is, parenting is hard. Really, really hard. Or as my wife would say, “parenting is the perfect opportunity to practice grace.” As hard as we try, we will certainly fail at times – and that’s where it is helpful to remember the following:

1. “Jesus paid the penalty for every moment when you fail as a parent.” (Parenting, Paul David Tripp)

2. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)

Clearly I have some spiritual maturing to do in the realm of parenting. It gently convicts and humbles me to admit this – evidence of God nudging me with His (far better) act of parenting.

Ultimately, I know that no matter how many parenting books I read, I cannot be the father I am called to be without the purifying work of the Holy Spirit. That is just one of the countless reasons that I am thankful for being adopted by the perfect Father in heaven.

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” - John 1:12 NLT

Pray for me.

-Nicolas C. Day

[1]http://biblehub.com/greek/1111.htm

[2]http://biblehub.com/greek/3308.htm

[3]http://www.crivoice.org/psalmtypes.html

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